So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
