brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
