Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
