I am puke
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
