Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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