She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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