My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize