i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
