So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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