it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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