I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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