you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
