This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
