i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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