even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
