i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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