i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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