Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize