I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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