great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize