lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
