Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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