I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
