you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
