there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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