They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
