I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
