Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
