We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
