So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
