He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
