Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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