in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
