You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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