How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
