she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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