sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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