one two three fourrrrnication!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
