I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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