Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize