You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
