North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
