i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
