i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
