Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
