We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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