I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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