White coat. Heels.
You work out of a Hotel?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize