I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
