i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
