the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
