There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All I want is dick and wine.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
