Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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