glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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