I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
