The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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