life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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